literature

Quos

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altanimator's avatar
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Literature Text

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The Ever Careless lot, teethered existence to mundane chores.
The Ever Priviledged, Aloofed by ominance & hedonistic behaviors.
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Pass the mountain tops
Across the wilderness
venture the seas
the heart yearns to go home
back to where each of us hold dear
a litany of the soul.
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To steadfast is to believe
as to trust is to have faith.
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Etched deep within each of you
is the voice of reason & insidious whisper.
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What is an "Idea"?
a concept which can drive people.
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Voices of the past coalesque
each carries their own tempo & pitch
A hymn of the ages.
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I have a passion for words.
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Bereft hope
Fall into Quagmire.
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Chivalry, justice, truth, camaderie,
is it really an archaic concept?
in a world full of lies, vanity, cheats & double crosses.
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Is there meaning in life,
without love?
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Inspiration cultivates creativity.
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The more you comprehend
the more questions you unravel.
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Lament not what is lost,
but
Rejoice in what is found.
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Abruply end all corrosive behavior
absolve thy eternal soul!
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Burning Rage In thine breast,
Quell it by compassion.
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Several plots
© 2012 - 2024 altanimator
Comments3
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SketchedExistence's avatar
I still find this very intriguing, after reading it again. It's interesting how you've broken this up into many different ideas, and yet they still manage to work together. They share common roots and messages.

In regards to critique, I have noticed a few little quirks. Some of it, I'm not sure as to whether or not it is intentional, so my apologies if I'm off-base. In the first line, I think you meant to put "tethered" instead of "teethered". Also, the latter half of the first two lines seem slightly off to me. Would "tethered by existence to mundane chores" work better? Also, did you mean eminence or dominance, instead of "ominance"? Also, in the third section I would add "be" before steadfast.

The only other area that comes to mind would also be "Chivalry, justice, truth, camaraderie,/is it really an archaic concept?/in a world full of lies, vanity, cheats & double crosses." I would recommend changing it to are they really archaic concepts,/in a world full of lies, vanity, cheating and double crossing". You could even say back-stabbing.

Like I said, this was an interesting read and has a lot of promise. Keep up the good work!